In years past for my core group of friends Philadelphia has been our central meeting spot.  Two of us come from NW of the city, one of us is in the NE, and the fourth is in South Jersey.  Taking the train into center city was the most convenient way for us to meet up and bar hop to our hearts’ desires.  From Center City Sips during the week to Old City people watching in the evenings to live bands or comedy in Fishtown on the weekend we hit it all (or at least we used to).  This past Saturday was the first time I’ve been in the city for eight months.  

Some of us are tolerant of the nonsensical masking that has taken over the city.  I do not fall in that category.  This is why neither SEPTA nor ride sharing are currently options for me.  On Saturday I drove into center city picking up my two friends along the way and somehow we eventually found parking.  The first place we walked up to was Dirty Franks.  None of us have ever been there before but it was on the list (yes we have lists).  They were only doing outdoor seating on the sidewalk and forcing customers to order at a side window.  I was proud my two friends now stood ground with me and refused to wear masks.  For 1. we were on the sidewalk and 2. the ordering window was solid acrylic with only a slot at the bottom to pass drinks through.  The immediately rude “bartender” snapped at my one friend for not having a mask on.  He was instead covering his mouth and nose with his rainproof jacket.  If you’re not aware masks are not waterproof nor form a complete seal around your face. Oh and there is not statistically significant difference with or without masks for viral transmission. See here, here, here, here, and here.  Regardless of his jacket’s spittle/aerosolized particle prevention the “bartender” persisted.  He should have said he had a medical condition right off the bat. That usually does it with the crazies.  Instead he said he forgot his mask and doesn’t have one.  She refused to serve him and we moved on.

With this first experience under our belts the rest of the night was not looking positive.  We walked closer to center city and debated getting a 12 pack and just walking around drinking.  We have done this very successfully in the past.  Before it got to that we found an open table on the sidewalk at Fergie’s.  The service was awful so we ended up just getting buckets with an assortment of random beer.  The experience was fine and it would have felt like classic Philly if it weren’t for the masks and strange triangular structures over picnic tables in the middle of the street.  We stayed there until the temperature dropped below our fancy.  

Left with what to do next, we wanted to find an indoor spot but who would serve rational, healthy, moderately quiet guys in their mid-twenties indoors in the city?  We figured our best chance was to head south and find an old family run corner tavern.  Eventually finding another parking spot near 9th and Passyunk we were welcomed inside Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar.  Ironically my one friend was just at this quaint corner bar not a week prior.  It was a very quiet and dark atmosphere with a plethora of old pictures of famous people and posters on the walls.  We had a few beers and by 11pm pretty much everything in sight was shutting down for the night.  This ending to our night left my experience fairly anticlimactic however, as always, we still managed to fit in plenty of our classic non-PC banter.  “We out”.

What once was an incredibly lively city not 16 months ago is a mere shadow of itself.  We have countless tales from our past treks through the city that all seem distant memories now.  A few of the places we used to enjoy are now closed, boarded, or refusing us altogether.  Watching 95% of people wearing masks while walking alone on the sidewalk only to sit down at a table on that same piece of concrete and take their masks off leaves me with little optimism for the future.  I enjoy reading about psychology however, I am at an absolute loss on how to reverse the successful brainwashing of our obedient youth. This brainwashing has created these now instinctual habits plaguing what once was our urban retreat on the Delaware.  I am not sure what will snap the masses back to their senses but, from my experience, if it doesn’t happen soon the Philly we knew will continue phading away.