Mommy Issues?? Sins of the Mother Wound-Forgiving Mother-Divine Feminine Initiation

Marja West





Episode 4:  Healing the Mother Wound—

Forgiving Sins Mom, Embodying the Divine Feminine Within

17 January 2020

 

 

Opening welcome and meditation:

 

  • Hello hello my beloved Waking Gods & Goddesses, welcome to my new YouTube Channel: LoveTruth&Beauty. DIY for Divine in the flesh, where your pain, traumas, suffering and dramas are golden gateways to waking up and staying awake.
  • This is Episode 4 and today I will be facilitating a DIY Guided Meditation and Initiating you all into the Gifts of the Divine Feminine within each and every one of us—Man, Woman, and child—moving us all forward toward Forgiving our mothers, our moms, and all women, and all the inner feminine energies residing and animating the human mens—We are opening and leaning into the possibility of forgiving the feminine for all her sins and shortcomings.
  • Before we get started, please like this video by giving us a thumbs up, please subscribe, and do hit the notification Bell, along with hitting All in that youtube notification drop menu, so that the YouTube will let you know when I upload. My upload schedule is Tuesdays and Fridays at 2pm Eastern
  • Thanks so much for joining me on this platform. I really do appreciate it. I am on a steep ass learning fucking curve here, so mea culpas on my uber lengthy offering of last Friday’s Episode 2—DIY Healing Ritual of the Collective Historical Pain-Body of the Feminine and Masculine. I don’t know what the fuck happened, I hit record and didn’t intend to go off the rails, but when I hit stop—it was too late—over an hour and 44 minutes long, and I’m not savvy (at this point) on video editing, I’m just now learning to convert audio to video because I’m a bit chickenshit to have my face on camera. So, dudes, cut me some slack, okay. I did somehow manage to include timestamps. So go easy on me kids. I’m learning.
  • Ok.
  • My name is Marja West, I am your hostess of the highest, here to download, upload, inspire & usher you into your bestest & brightest light, your bestest and brightest Selves, inviting you to open your hearts, opening them up wider and wider still, emptying your minds—inviting all our inner children, our misunderstood inner punky-ass teenagers, our frustrated and overworked pissed off underpleasured adults to come out and receive, inviting you to give your bestest love and appreciation to one and all, particularly beaming love and our gratitude to our beautiful planet—assisting her to enhance her Earth Magic and repel and rebalance the manmade techno enviro worldwide shitshow, remembering the World IS NOT THE PLANET. 
  • Here we are again sharing this time and space in this gorgeous matrix of light and love that spans the curvature of our Earth in all directions.
  • So, I wanna start off with a Landing Meditation—prepping us to Receive healing, and receive the information in this Initiation into the Gifts of the Divine Feminine…so get yourSelves situated into your comfy places, have your water or beverage of your choice nearby, along with your journals and pens.

Opening Meditation:

  • Close your eyes and make yourSelf comfortable.
  • Receive a deep breath in and let it out with an elongated Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..
  • Allow all thoughts to come and go in and out of your awareness.
  • Just notice them passing through.
  • Invite all your energy and life force to come back to your body, all the energies and thoughts from your previous engagements earlier today or last night or last week, thoughts and experiences from your interactions with the world-at-large, whatever conversations are looping in your mind, from other outside matters.
  • Allow yourSelf to fully arrive, and land, here, right now, as you are, wherever you are, however you are.
  • Magnify your relief of being here, right now; in the chair you’re sitting in, or the couch or bed you’re laying on, listening to the sound of my voice, allowing the Divine to BREATHE you fully.
  • HIT BELLS
  • Exhale out all your breath sharing your loving intentions.
  • On a huge inhale bring your palms together, in Anjali Mudra, prayer position, gratitude position—pressing your palms into each other in front of the middle of your chest or your heart center, the Anahata Chakra.
  • On an exhale, feel your body relax and let go and release more love through your out breathe.
  • HIT BELLS
  • Let’s call in our master healing angels, our guides, our unseen friends, and our collective higher selves, I’d like to call in Ananadamayima in co-creating this healing space for our beautiful planet earth, all of her creatures, all our beautiful brothers and sisters who are here to make some changes, shifts, and releases. We ask that these changes, shifts, and releases come forth readily and easily, everything we’re all able and willing to dissolve at this time—all our fears and terrors and worries and stress and our helplessness, our deepest sadness, grief and despair, dissolving our anger, rage, and frustration & our lack of trust, dissolving our guilt and shame and feelings of lack and self-doubt and not good enough, bringing light to those captive in darkness, dissolving our judgments, our hate, and criticisms, allowing our inner-victim  to shift into victorious, and feeling our closure to our breath, feeling into our closure to love and our Divinity—opening our hearts and minds to align ourselves with the possibility of forgiving all of our mothers and the women in and out of our lives—past, present, and future, forgiving our own feminine energies that have caused us and others harm, allowing healing and transformation to occur in all our relationships—all for the highest good, the deepest possible truth, the innermost clarity and peace, and most profound of healing…and so it is…
  • HIT BELLS
  • Allow your breath to fill your belly with life force pranic energy which is light.
  • Feel the colours of prana, notice the colour or colours of prana you are attracted to receiving.
  • Amplify your trust in what you are receiving, trusting your body to receive the exact colour or colours that it needs to move you into greater clarity, moving you into greater receptivity—which is an aspect of the Divine Feminine.
  • That’s it…nice and easy.
  • Exhale out all your loving breath.
  • On an inhale, with your palms together, still in prayer position or a Namaste in front of your heart and move your palms so that you move them just in front of the most sensitive part of your heart.
  • Trust that you know where this sensitive part is, trust in your knowing, even if you have no idea what you’re doing.
  • This sensitivity that you are feeling is your closure to love, allow this closure, based on fear to open and release, and be vulnerable.
  • Keep breathing.
  • Allow yourself to revel in the awareness that you are experiencing, and magnify your awareness.
  • On an inhale, think of a woman who challenges you, and bring her into your heart, allowing your heart to surround her in your love.
  • On an exhale gift that love and awareness you are experiencing to that woman.
  • Magnify your feelings of generosity and care from doing this.
  • Keep breathing, my loves,
  • Allowing the image of this woman to dissolve.
  • bells
  • On a huge inhale, think of your mother or the woman or man perhaps who stepped in as your mother, your caretaker, your nanny during your formative years, and if you didn’t have a mother—imagine her anyway, bringing her imagthis person into your heart
  • Surrounding her, this person in your love.
  • Allow your Exhale to transform any feelings, energies of stress or emotion into more love, and notice any sensitivity in your most sensitive place of your heart.
  • On an inhale, place your right hand over the front surface of your heart, over that most sensitive place.
  • On an exhale place your left hand over your belly, loving up your belly.
  • Allow the Divine to BREATHE you deeply. Magnify your connection with this mother real or imagined, notice any tension or stress or emotion as you do this, trusting your love is transforming these challenging feelings and emotions into more love.
  • Whatever LOVE you have that is living you right now, gift that LOVE to your mother, this nanny, this caretaker—man or woman, now, regardless of whether or not she’s on the planet, regardless of whether or not she was the mother you really wanted, regardless of what kind of LOVE she gave you, even if she wasn’t able to give you any LOVE, or was never in your life for whatever reason, gift her your LOVE, anyway.
  • Gift this LOVE because you can, because you really do care, and because your LOVE is BIGGER and VASTER than any grievance you may have toward her.
  • Magnify any relief or pleasure you are experiencing in this intimately loving gesture of gifting LOVE to your mother, this mother figure.
  • Notice any other emotions that arise from this loving gesture and Gift your LOVE to those emotions, even if those emotions are of rage, hurt, sadness, vengeance, resentment, sorrow, shame, grief, longing…they transform into more love
  • Allow whatever emotional state that arises to be as it is—nothing to fix, or get away from, just witness it transform into more love.
  • Knowing that your witness is story-less, without any judgment or evaluation about any given moment…
  • Let yourSelf be BREATHED by the Divine, effortlessly.
  • HIT BELLS
  • Rest and linger in this space with your eyes closed, and open in your own timing, notice any energies and light you perceive to be surrounding you, noticing the quality of that light, any energies, the quality of your perceptions..
  • Sensuality…is not sexuality. It’s about Living life awake, embodied in your physical body, in the Senses--living your Sensual Life requires your presence, requires your being able to allow yourSelf to be BREATHED…notice breathing requires very little effort,
  • and also notice that when you are present—the quality of your breathing changes, it deepens.
  • “Presencing” requires that you notice what you are up to when you are resisting, checking out, going unconscious…you know what I mean…and engaging all 7 of your senses in this Sensual-Sensorial World:
  • Sight
  • Smell
  • Sound—hearing and listening
  • Taste
  • Touch
  • Intuition
  • Our Innate Generosity & Care—the ability to receive—the feminine principle and our ability to gift-give—the masculine principle.
  • The world keeps turning, regardless.
  • I invite you to try this process the Next time you feel triggered or upset—take five minutes to consciously breathe in the qualities of love, light, clarity, peace, calm, healing, trust, and relaxation, and with every out-breath—share those exact same qualities and gift them to your immediate environment, the world-at-large, or someone special. This practice opens the heart center and relaxes your body, and imbues your environment with these Divine qualities, and dissolves your reactivity into ease…
  • The Divine Feminine Principle of RECEIVING is first introduced to us by our respective birth mothers…regardless of whether they were in our lives or not.
  • In Vitro, Our mothers are our first interface with the Divine Feminine Essence. During her pregnancy whatever is going on with her on every facet of her life—her morphogenic field absolutely affects her pregnancy.
  • I am here to initiate all of you into the realm of The Deepest Gifts of the Divine Feminine (who isn’t necessarily a woman or a man)—as a loving gesture to open ourSelves toward the light of forgiveness of our mothers and inherent rejection and judgment and cursing of the dysfunctional feminine so that we can all open to embracing and embodying the Divine Feminine.
  • Now, I am in no way, shape or form advocating that you break a No Contact Ever Again promise to yourself and safety—especially if your mother is a Toxic NSP—we’re talking about consciously wielding and directing and conserving your life force energy
  • 2009 the Dalai Lama proclaimed that it will be Western Woman who will save the world from the path of destruction and demise that it’s on.
  • There was a lot of hoopla around this—I was stoked, personally, but a lot of my sis=STARS were tweaked—yeah, lemme just add saving the world to my endless list of things to do…NO PRESSURE, No BIGGIE. MISTER DALAI LAMA, A man, of course.
  • And the backlash, in my opinion, 11 years later, seemed to allow the Weaponised Woundology of the Pain-Body of Women, along with the atrocities toward women—resulting in man-hating and unconscious women adopting unconscious masculine energies of violent payback toward all men, any man with impunity, as if that’s conscious.
  • It is NOT.
  • So many asked, “but how is this going to come about when we are at odds with the Masculine, and reject, devalue, and mistrust the feminine unless she’s emulating a man?”
  • Utterly confusing right??
  • The answer is within each of us in the embodiment of the Inner Feminine and Masculine, such that they work together in Sacred Marriage and Partnership. The Internal Hieros Gamos—The Marriage of the Inner Feminine and Inner Masculine within both women and men,
  • Also, when I thought of it, it was clear that many of the women in power in the world are so outta touch with their Feminine natures—I wouldn’t want to have them lead from the over-masculinized place of exhaustion, frustration, and pretending to be one of the boys…
  • We already know that the unconscious Masculine model of creation—that competitive, conquer-all, kick-ass, one-upmanship of being is so like 80s and 90s 2000s…that old paradigm is on its way out.
  • It’s gotta go.
  • The identified Victimisation of Women has also got to go, along with its flipside- Men as perpetrators.
  • These generalisations are as ludicrous as *Believe All Women* and *All Men Are Rapists.*
  • The Feminine model of collaboration and creativity is becoming more conscious of its imbalance and emulation of the old masculine model…
  • How are we, as humans—whether we are male or female—going to bring about the healing of the planet—bring it back into balance when we vilify the feminine—especially when the feminine is seen as irrelevant, crazy, insane, nonsensical, illogical, psycho, ball-busting, angry, etc…?
  • We are not here to bash or blame momma, or bash women and the feminine, or men who are in touch with their feminine natures. Nor are we here to blame and bach and vilify the Masculine. Let’s be clear…

We further learn to mistrust our deepest Feminine wisdom early on in our lives through our experiences with mom.  You may unconsciously feel betrayed by the Feminine if:

  • Just like me—you grew up watching your own mother do everything all alone—working a job (or two), raising children, and keeping the entire household together. That is, being in her Masculine
  • So many of us share the same stories of mom coming home pissed off, frustrated, slamming doors and cupboards, yelling and screaming about everything or nothing. Masculine aggressive energies.
  • Or you may recall how your mother was so overwhelmed she couldn’t handle anything…and how YOU had to grow up fast and take responsibility for everything. Her inner Masculine was emasculated, and couldn’t do anything right and abandoned her and YOU and YOU lost your childhood and had to GROW UP and be the adult.
  • In any case, you saw your mother neglecting to take care of herself and forgetting to enjoy her life—That’s part of the real feminine energies.

It’s so painful to remember our mothers behaving in those ways, right?  I know I pushed those memories aside.

Like many of our sisters, we internally vowed we would become a different kind of woman—balanced, compassionate, soft, happy, and loving…

So we immersed ourSelves in exploring spirituality, developing our psychic/intuitive abilities, developing and mastering our worldly masculine skills so we can serve, and investing in our well-being through lots of consciousness-raising healing, coaching, and talk therapy.

That being said, why is it that so many women have shared their disbelief and horror at discovering that despite all their “inner work” to avoid being like mom, they still ended up just like her—addicted to doing, angry, frustrated, exhausted, unfulfilled, and blaming men and their children for their unhappy lives??

This phenomenon has perplexed me greatly. Thankfully, over the years, I’ve been blessed with fully awakened mentors who each pointed out:  Trauma is physiological—not psychological, and not psychic…so, now what?

The reality is this:  Something intensely profound and compelling is happening to the collective consciousness of humanity at a fundamental-foundational level.  We as humans are shifting our consciousness into a Heart-Based awakened state. 

The Old-Paradigm is outdated, and on its way OUT—Men and Women, black and white roles, “men are men,” and “women are women.”  Bye-Bye, already!

The New Paradigm holds the keys to our ultimate freedom and awakening:  Regardless of gender—every human being embodies and expresses masculine and feminine energies.

As waking women, we are the GATEKEEPERS to Conscious Presence on this sacred Earth.

I know YOU know this—which is why you have worked so hard in discovering HOW you can instill change through sharing your Divine gifts with the world, but we have to come from a place of fullness, rather than depletion.

Regaining trust in the Divine Feminine is KEY to our awakening and empowerment as women and as fellow human beings.  There is a “silent awakening” calling us to:

  • Forgive and regain TRUST in mom and all women to embody Feminine and Masculine energies as directed by life and its circumstances
  • Re-ignite your TRUST in the Divine Feminine
  • Anchor TRUST in yourSelf
  • Stop blaming the masculine and men
  • As balanced awakened women, we are required to embody balanced Masculine energy—as he is in charge of our ability as women (and men) to Take ACTION.
  • Let’s talk energy—regardless of gender—both men and women embody male and female energies.
  • Being conscious and awake is going to require us to consciously wield both these energies and embody them—there is no either-or.
  • No separation. GOT IT?
  • Here’s a quick download of Feminine-Masculine 101
  • Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine= only one man and one woman—of whom each and every one of us is a physical expression of that one man or one woman.
  • In general, masculine energy is directive, projective, action, doing, like a rock, like a mountain, steadfast and strong, solid, focused, driven, never changing.
  • In general, feminine energy is light, change, fluid, flow-y, being, receptive, open, sensual, colours, flavours, moods, modes.
  • The Masculine evolves through challenge.
  • The Feminine evolves through praise…
  • Our mothers are also our foundational templates for the women in our lives—and all our relationships—the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, and everything in between and beyond!
  • The Feminine’s focus is “RELATIONSHIP.”
  • FORM is everywhere, we interact with all FORMS…this interaction is relationship, relating to FORMS.
  • Our mothers are our first interface with the energies of the Divine Feminine that embrace and express the qualities of love, life, light, creativity, magnetism, movement, spontaneity, softness, generosity, nurturing sweetness, fluidity & flow, allowing, openness, beauty, and radiance.
  • This interface and connection become our template for our own feminine nature regardless of being male or female. When we are in conflict with our mothers and the feminine—we are actually at war with nature and short-circuit our inherent connection to love and joy, magnetism, receiving, and abundance.
  • One of the main reasons why the Law of Attraction doesn’t work is because of the blocks to RECEIVING and the mistrust of the Feminine Principle of Receiving.
  • If you mistrust the feminine or feel betrayed by her in any form, shape, or fashion, you will short-circuit your connection to the Feminine Principle of RECEIVING…
  • Abundance is NOT about DOING, although Divine Action is a required component- Abundance is about allowing the juicy feminine energies to expand your creativity and allow you to become magnetic whether you’re a woman or man.
  • Back to energy…

Qualities of the Divine Feminine: The Ways of the Feminine

  • The masculine always looks to the feminine for completion.
  • The feminine is the force of attraction and allure—this is magnetism.
  • Light-Dark-- Colours
  • Life-Death—the feminine is the force of life.
  • All expressions of life include the planet—the planet is the quintessential expression of the Divine Feminine in the physical and this includes all of her lands, waters, creatures, plants & rocks & crystals.
  • Love-Refusal of Love
  • Creation-Destruction
  • Radiance- is the core of the feminine.
  • The feminine wants to be seen. The feminine wants to be noticed—this is why we women and some men and trans and whatever genders who run high feminine energy— are attracted to and enjoy fashion and jewels and going into the gym to work out and into posing, etc….
  • Flow-Stagnation The Feminine FLOWS the masculine GOs
  • Softness-Rigidity
  • Peace-Agitation
  • Sensation-numbness
  • Nature-Artificial
  • Acceptance-Rejection
  • Receive-Take The Feminine is also the Receptive Principle
  • Perfume-Stench
  • Ripe-Rotten
  • Betty Boop-Psycho Betty
  • Divine Mother-Mommie Dearest
  • The feminine hears MOOD & TONE & speaks FEEL, the masculine speaks words & DO.
  • The feminine is not always appreciated.
  • The feminine FLOW is paid way less than the Masculine go.
  • The Deepest Gift of the Feminine is her YEARNING…desire for the masculine.
  • YEARNING-Craving

When it comes to addictions:

  • The Feminine is into the Sensual World—she is FORM, all forms—so she/he—because the feminine also resides in men—desires tastes, smells, sounds, textures, and beauty —therefore addictions are based on being Filled or fulfilled…filling his/her sense of emptiness—
  • The Masculine on the other hand escapes into emptiness—through drugs & alcohol (which are considered feminine in frequency)—into oblivion, having an orgasm and falling right into sleep almost immediately…
  • The feminine—the goddess has many faces and moods—just like nature—there’s Her fierceness in an erupting volcano, and her sublime beauty expressed in a gorgeous sunrise. Our mothers and every expression of the feminine encompass an infinite array of sanity and craziness, yet historically the patriarchy has vilified and sought to destroy Her.

The Divine Feminine mood or mode I want to focus on is the mode of DISGUST.

I want to bring this up because we tend to want to avoid the unpleasant icky stuff—this business of awakening encompasses all of it—the icky and the pleasant stuff.  This mode is the mode that we as women obsess, wallow, and allow to devour us OR we avoid, distract ourSelves and run from—EITHER scenario allows the MOOD of DISGUST to turn into ourselves as guilt, shame, humiliation, and embarrassment—leading women to their demise of immobilization, stagnation, self-sacrifice, denial.

Diminishing our Feminine, acting more from the masculine leaves women feeling dry, tired, exhausted, and lifeless.

One of the best ways to bring up the feminine energies is to hang out with your women friends, get pampered at a spa, do girlie activities—this also works for the men…

All the emotions and traumas we’ve absorbed are very real and valid

—the collective programming of women to turn unrealized and unexpressed emotions of DISGUST—rage, fury, betrayal, etc… gets lodged into Her tissues and the dysfunction gets carried out and handed down to future generations—further perpetuating the dysfunctional programming to her children—males and females, and so the pain cycle continues.

We all need to release our programs and beliefs of VICTIMISATION!

  • I invite you to journal and Discover the relationship between the Divine Feminine, our mothers, and allergies or emotional-energetic disconnections to milk and dairy products, deeply affect the emotional, mental, and physical bodies—this includes our ability to take care of ourselves and others from a place of empowerment.
  • Allergies to milk, dairy, and cats are emotional-energetic disconnections to the feminine principle and directly related to any issues regarding mom, and her style of nurturing—over-bearing, mean, non-existent, critical, out of it, and mother, etc…
  • Get to the core of this disconnection, and the allergies or histamine response is often dissolved!
  • Unwinding our disconnection with mom and the feminine Also shifts and evolves our abilities to nurture ourselves, and open to our abilities to receive.

Mirror Work Exercises:

  1. Something I hated about my mother…
  2. Something I wanted my mother to give me…
  3. Something I wanted my mother to tell me…
  4. Something I want to tell my mother…
  5. The gifts I’ve received from my mother are…
  6. With your partner/mirror, you will in “PRAISE MIND” share with you’re the great qualities of your mother for five entire minutes…describe your mother’s admirable qualities, and if you run out of things, be silent, or repeat what you just shared.
  • I strongly urge you all to do these exercises.
  • Over the next week or so, I also invite all of you to journal about your relationship with the feminine principle of RECEIVING, and the relationships with your mother, sisters, women friends, and girlfriends/wives, along with your relationship with your own Inner Feminine--What are the challenges that come up? And what are the gifts from these relationships?
  • If you don’t have someone you can do these with—please use a mirror or your journal. Remember that journaling (and dare I say burning it when you complete a journal book) is the fast track to awakening and staying conscious about what you’re up on all levels of your life and existence, and letting go of old stories and narratives that we can easily get caught up in and repeat ad nauseum..
  • Our next video, Episode 5 will be addressing our direct relationship with the Masculine, particularly our fathers, the men in our lives…