How to Lead By Example, Not Force

During these times of great change, many are looking for answers or direction. They are seeking refuge and a way out (or through) their situation. As a result so many people seek answers outside of themselves. They are vulnerable as they look for “leaders” to show them the way or to solve their problems. This is when it is especially critical to lead by example, not force.

The truth is that no one can really lead us but ourselves. We can be influenced and guided by others. But, only you know what’s best for you. Even if it’s a so-called expert. A health coach like myself might think “she shouldn’t be eating that”. In reality, maybe that person isn’t ready or isn’t intended to have a strong healthy body in this lifetime so other lessons can be learned. We never know the path or purpose of another human. We simply cannot know what’s best. That said, we can still know what is right or wrong. Moral and immoral. 

Which leads me to how the entire notion of leadership and how it’s often completely misunderstood. I get it though. We seek answers about subjects or areas we are lacking in. And often, we find others who are “experts” or who have experience so we think they are the ones to lead us. Well, in a way. It really depends on your intent to be led.

Are you looking for someone to tell you what to do? Or, are you looking for someone to “lead by example”? The latter is really the only real and moral way to lead. There is this notion that in order to lead others, we must direct them in some way. This takes away their autonomy. This doesn’t take into account their individual needs, desires, and life purpose.

Be the Change you Wish to See

When one leads by example, they are showing others a way to do, be, or act. You’ve probably heard the saying “be the change you wish to see in the world”. It’s really about making decisions within and for yourself. When we change ourselves, how we perceive the outer world changes. On top of that, others see the growth and evolution in us and are thus inspired in their own upward spiral. Ultimately, we realize that we can only control ourselves. 

This doesn’t mean one cannot lead from a place of inspiration. As a result of living in alignment with morals and principals and achieving a certain level of balance and peace, others will be curious about how you did it. When you lead by example, others will look to you as a reference point or guidepost. This can be an incredible and graceful way to lead. It is an organic process that unfolds with voluntary willingness and gentleness. 

Whether it’s inspiring them to take action, or showing there is another way, leading by example helps others see what is possible. When we see another who inspires us, there is a sort of frequency within them that we recognize, even if we don’t yet have it. 

Because we live in a reality where everything is connected, the action of one affects the actions of the rest. The simple presence and beingness of a leader can have a profound effect on others. Everything is energy. Including us. As such, so much is exchanged without us consciously feeling or seeing it. When one person “levels up”, they begin to lead others simply through a ripple effect. This person becomes an energetic lighthouse who attracts others and points the way. 

Perhaps this leader has some info that can awaken something that causes others to dig deeper in themselves. It doesn’t mean they have it all figured out. Even leaders, whether spiritual teachers or politicians, do not have it all figured out. To believe this can further disempower the individual. This can be where the idea of “false gurus” comes into play. I’d even say that any type of guru can cause one to seek answers outside of Self and give their power away. No matter what level of awakening or consciousness we are at, we all have the ability to tune into ourselves and find true guidance inside. 

Leading Self

Have you ever been overwhelmed or tired and just said to a friend or partner “I don’t know. Just choose for me…”? When it comes to what movie to watch or what leftovers to eat, there’s likely little consequence in the outcome. But, these days, so many are this way about life in general.

Figuring out what’s safe seems to be the biggest trip up of all for most right now. Wanting to be told what’s safe by authoritative sources won’t cut it. We need to use discernment. When we do this we are sorting it out ourselves. Doing the research all the while checking in within ourselves to see how it all sits. 

Intuition plays a huge role when it comes to leading yourself. Reason and logic have their place, but don’t ignore that inner guidance that’s always available. We don’t need permission or an external source to allow us to access that which is ever present. 

Even when we give our consent to be led, we cannot abdicate personal responsibility. We are each responsible for our choices. Even when we hire or elect others to make decisions for us. No one can make a decision for you but you. You have free will and are in the unique position of being you. Not just that, but when another is making a decision, it may or may not be moral. So it might not be right for you and it might not be right. Being conscious, we must willfully choose for ourselves. 

Own Yourself to Lead by Example

We don’t need to wait until we’re perfect to start to lead by example. Just know that when you make choices that support your inner sovereignty and wholeness, others will notice. They might start to reach out or simply respond to your frequency by taking action in a new, beneficial direction. When you act from a place of empowerment and don’t take orders from others, they will be reminded of their own inherent freedom to choose for themselves.

We are all intertwined on spaceship earth in a way that allows us to give and take in ways we can’t comprehend. We are all teachers and all students. At times, you might find that you feel like a leader and that you are meant to help guide others. While other times you might feel you are more inspired by others in your life, or maybe even nature, and aren’t feeling that leadership role. It’s all ok. It’s part of the natural ebb and flow. Just trust that you are here for a purpose and that your ability to tune into yourself and own yourself will give incredible strength to others to do the same.

Blessings!